The GFY-YFP Training Methodology: For 22% More Enhanced Levels of Productivity and Sweet Success


Thursday, 14th July 2011
NOIDA

I've been asked, "What is your training methodology?"

My little semi-autistic head just doesn't get that. So, I inquire back. "What do you mean?"

"Well, what we really mean (and it's just a single person you're talking to. I adore people who use we all the time. They are my heros and heroines. They just wee themselves all over you. Ask them anything and the answer will always begin with a wee, pun intended) is...what is your training methology? What methodology do you follow? What is the methodology?"

I try to read off their gestures but they're cold as cucumbers. Ok. That doesn't do any bit of good to clarify. I know I am not stupid.

Scratch head. Epiphany happens. "May be they want to know how I go about teaching when I teach."

I reply, "Well, I speak words out of my mouth, and some people are sitting in front of me, listening to them with their ears. That is my methodology."

Pause.

"I also use chalk, sometimes markers with whiteboard, and always a projector. And a computer to connect that to. I don't own a projector. You'll have to provide it. If I am teaching programming, I don't use slides. Only a very few slides, sometimes."

Stony silence. They probably want more explanation.

I continue, "Some of the people sitting in front of me when I am talking are listening intently, I can tell. And I can tell who aren't. Some people are pretending to listen when they are really thinking of other things that are seemingly more important in their lives, like mentally making the grocery list, or calculating interest earned on savings in thier bank account, and that type of stuff. That sort of stuff happens when people get bored. It's ok. Tha...t is...my......dology?". I gesticulate seeking approval.

Somehow, it doesn't bode very well with them. They're probably looking for some acronyms, or something more pretentious posh and sophisticated along the lines of, like the 10 P's, or the 12 Q's, or Six Sigma or SCRUM or PRINCE or the 46 M&M's Methodology.

So, I came up with my own. It took me laborious seconds and seconds and even longer & more laboring seconds of my life of pondering over and meditating on this pertinent issue to come up with an acronym that I have come to fall in love with now. My training methodology is...roll drrrrrrrummmmms.......the GFY-YFP methodology.

Fire crackers alight in my mind's eye.

Isn't it sweet? It's almost a palindrome.

I feel like an important person now. My conscience will not strangle me if I wore a business suit, thank the dog. My reading on the methodology meter just took off, doggone it!

When I tell you what it really is, you will love it even more. But I need to make some money before that. When I am financially independent, I will expand that.

Ever since I made it up, I imagined how the methodology copulators aficionados will, as one man's voice, covetously drool over my GFY-YFP 1.0 methodology. So, I immediately set off to work on extending it, and after another excruciating 45 long seconds, was able to come up with its second version.

The new version is called GFY-YFP version 2.0.

You can also call it GFY-YFP-AWYHDTDIAOA methodology. This methodology optimizes results, leverages synergies between any two synergy leveraging things, increases productivity awesomely, and I strongly suspect that it cures mild baldness. If you apply it at night. Conditions, of course, always do apply.

When I have made lots of money, I will expand that.

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