Wednesday, 26th March 2014
Do you know the difference between successful and unsuccessful people? Yeah, like, the difference between you and those people in the picture on the left? You don't. It is these 12 things. Do these 12 things and see your life change in 10 days.
We all know it. Whatever we do and whenever we do it, whether outside or inside, whether at night or in the day, whether with a smile on our faces or with a begrudging look, there is misery and we are always frustrated (by the way if you are frustrated, click "Buy Now.") And the one thing we can't run away from is that nagging feeling. You know what I am talking about. That nagging feeling that targets only the sensitive ones (you and us, the people bringing you the 12 steps).
Such is the tragedy of life. You are in the right place now.
Here is the secret recipe: the 12 things you need to do for success just 10 minutes before you do that thing.
1) Stay calm!
One of the most widely reported story in modern journalism is that of candidates jumping out of the window from three storyies atop just minutes before appearing for a job interview. That much anxiety we do not recommend. For success in an interview, before the interview, here's the secret: stay calm.
2) Drink a glass of water
Water is in everything. It is in our bodies 65%, in wine about that much, yeah same, in coffee, in strawberry juice, cranberry juice, apple juice, grapefruit juice, scotch with water, scotch with soda, in the river and in the ocean. It is just about everywhere. Why not drink it?
3) Don't stress yourself
65% of journalists on the Internet estimate that 42% of doctors say that 36% of the working population of today will never reach the ripe age of some prime number. Why? Stress! Well, they also say it because they are mostly unemployed and it is the Internet -- free to write whatever without moderation or verification and free to read whatever. That beside, don't stress yourself. And the money will flow.
4) Take responsibility and the money will start to flow.
5) Do not urinate on the pavement. It is against the law. And there's a fine for it. Unless you live in a country like India. Then it is fine, of course. It is only bad manners there. Still, just hold it in for a while.
6) Prepare. Preparation is everything. Suppose you are going to appear for a job interview. Then the secret to success is preparation. You need to be told this because you don't know it. If you prepare, you will pass; if you don't, you may not pass. So the good thing is always to prepare before the job interview and be prepared. This secret applies only to things where preparation is required. Some things do not require preparation. Like when you going about your regular shit during the day, you don't need to prepare. But if you are going for a job interview, you need to prepare. Don't over-prepare, though. Don't prepare at the last minute. But prepare.
When someone says something funny, always laugh. It makes you healthy. When no one is saying anything funny, should you laugh then also?
8) Breathe in and out. Most unsuccessful people don't breathe. The successful ones always do. They are heavy breathers. We know you are not breathing enough, often times holding it in.
9) Just be
You are not being it enough. Just be. Otherwise, how will the universe respond to your call for manifesting itself in its form through your own moorings on the plane of lateral desire? And that is where most of us go wrong. We forget to be ourselves. We just forget to be. Just be....Beeeeeee. It's deep philosophy. It is the call of the universe. You have to close your eyes, sip a drink of water and just know that you are being there in that moment, yourself. To be or not to be, that's deep. Shakespeare also wrote that. And to be, click "Buy Now." In being is everything and the being gets lost in the becoming of something else. Pray, how else will things be right? Otherwise, we are okay. Just be yourself, click "Buy Now" and be just yourself and no one else.
10) Have a bath or something
Hot water bubble bath. I don't know what those things are called. If you are in a foreign country, like foreign countries have these things. I like foreign countries. Anyway, getting back to the matter. If you are in a nice foriegn country and shit, then go to the market. Start walking. Keep walking. If you smell a nice smell coming out of a shop, like, not like food or something but like nice flowers, no not flowers, not perfume either, some strange shit you know but, like, nice. Just go into that shop and buy those things. They are round and square and all nice shapes and they smell wierd and nice and you put them in the bath tub or scrub them on yourself or on the wall or something before the bath. Buy those. Step into the bath tub. If you just have a shower, you're out of luck. May be you can scrub those on yourself, light a candle and stand in the shower if it helps. Like, to have a candle light bath like the ladies have in the movies or something. It feels rich and calm and shit.
11) Cuddle. Give everyone a spiritual hug and shit
Awww! You will vibrate with the law of attraction. With force alike no other. And force equals mass into action, according to Newton. All the negative biochemicals and impulses will flow out and nice and fresh God particles will flow in making you radiate with spiritual energy and giving.
12) Click "Buy Now."
As we remind you again and again in our promo video (wherein we make that great offer for just $12,000 that you have to pay upfront) that making money is so easy even a monkey could do it. If you simply read that line again and again, and watched that video repeatedly, you would come to a place of awakening.
Join our 12-step program which guarantees a life of abundance, riches, six pack abs and lovely 25-year-old-bikini clad love interests swimming in your own private swimming pool waiting to be made love to by you. The 12-Step Program: From One Bank to Another. Click "Buy Now" and turn life into your bitch!
- 10 Qualities You Need To Have To Be Successful
- Famous Actors Who Never Went to Acting School
- You can be whatever or whoever you want to be if you set goals
- The Strong Idiot With the Blindfold and the Infectious Maniac
- We learnt it all in Kindergarten
- Success Is Formulaic
- You Don't Need Soma
- How do you tackle your work, a poem by Franklin Pierce Adams